Floating in Chemicals

Chris and I hardly ever get any time together anymore, so we decided that we would have family nap time this morning (late in the morning, of course). We put the baby in her crib and double-gated the older toddler in his room. Well, we evidently needed that nap - we fell asleep so soundly that we didn't hear Brayden get out of his room (I still don't know how he got the second gate down).

I awoke to the smell of something - something fresh but chemical. I got out of bed and looked in his room. He was gone. As I descended the stairs, the smell got stronger, mixed in with the smell of lavender-scented Pledge. Lo and behold, he had Febreezed the television and speaker covers. Osmocote (plant fertilizer granules) was all over the dining room...and lock de-icer was beginning to eat through the varnish on the dining room table...

I remember a simpler time in our marriage...spontaneity, relaxation, tv time, shooting pool. Now I have to schedule running to the grocery store. I almost have to schedule peeing with the behavior Brayden exhibits. But, we love our children and wouldn't give it up for anything. Well, almost.

I know we are not the only parents who feel this way. Child-rearing is difficult, especially when you don't have the support systems that you need. We, unfortunately, lack the support system that allows us to have alone time, window-shopping time, dinner alone time, time away, you name it.

I've been trying to paint Brayden's room, but that is a pain in the butt as anyone could imagine. Yet, as I sit here with a massive headache from inhaling chemicals all day, I feel calm and at peace with myself. My children bring out the best and the worst of me, but I have grown from my experiences. I continue to grow every day. And I hope that never stops...if only the chemical smell would go away.